In God’s providence the beauty and duty of the covenant household is tied to that of the gospel. The covenant household is a sacred space where we live not as scattered individuals, but as one body, united in Christ, for His glory and our mutual good; and so it is in the church because of the gospel of God. So, whether you are a husband, a wife, a parent, or a single brother or sister, the principles of God’s design speak to us all, calling us to repentance, faith, and joyful obedience.

The Husband’s Call: To Love and Lead Sacrificially

Husbands, the Lord has entrusted you with a high and holy calling. You are to love your wives as Christ loves His church, laying down your life for her in a daily act of sacrifice. This is not a love of mere words or fleeting feelings, but a rugged, steadfast commitment to seek her good above your own. Your leadership is not a crown to wear for your own glory, but a cross to bear for the flourishing of your household. To lead sacrificially is to rise early in prayer, to labor diligently in provision, to speak truth with gentleness, and to guide your family toward the heart of God.

What does repentance look like if you’ve fallen short? It begins with humility—confessing where self-interest has crept in, where impatience has wounded, or where neglect has dimmed the light of your home. Turn to Christ, who gave Himself up for us all, and ask for His strength to love as He loves. Practically, set aside time to listen to your wife, to cherish her needs, and to lead family worship with consistency. Gather your household to sing, pray, and feast on God’s Word, modeling a life surrendered to the Savior. And more important than just setting aside a short time to lead in worship each day is leading in a worshipful way all day every day. That means doing everything for the glory of God and the good of His people—especially your family. 

It’s far too easy to fall into pride and to spiral down the drain of anger and other sin when we are confronted with our failures, but Jesus calls us to something far harder yet far better. “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (Luke 9:23-24). If you try to save your life, save your pride, to save face… you will die. You may even rip your marriage, family, friendships, and life as a whole apart. But if you die to self, die to pride, humble yourself, confess your sin, and repent… you will live. And you may save your marriage, save your family, and save and restore broken relationships. So heed Jesus’ words. He is the Lord of all, and a truly gracious Savior. He knows what He’s talking about.

The Wife’s Call: To Honor and Help Rightly

Wives, God calls you to a beautiful and noble task: to honor your husband and to be his helpmate in the grand mission of your covenant home and Christ’s Kingdom. This is not a diminishment of your worth—far from it! You reflect the church’s own submission to Christ, a strength that upholds and completes. Your honor is not blind deference, but a willing, joyful partnership, offering wisdom, grace, and diligence to build a home that radiates God’s glory. You are the crown of your husband, a co-laborer in a shared calling.

If this calling feels heavy, or if bitterness or frustration has taken root, repentance begins with turning to the Lord. Seek His forgiveness for moments of resentment or withdrawal, and ask for eyes to see your husband as God does—a man in need of grace, as we all are. Practically, look for ways to bless him: a kind word, a prayer for his burdens, a hand extended in the daily tasks of life. Your help strengthens the whole household, and in honoring him, you honor the One who knit you together.

Raising Children in the Culture of Christ

Parents, and especially fathers, the Lord commands us to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. This is no mere checklist of rules or a dry imparting of facts. It is the cultivation of a whole way of life, a culture saturated with the beauty, truth, and goodness of Christ. We are to disciple our children in the grand sweep of God’s story—teaching them to love His Word, to sing His praises, to pray without ceasing, and to see all of life as an offering to Him. From the breakfast table to the bedtime story, from discipline to delight, we shape their hearts to know that Christ is Lord of all.

Some say that many Christians embrace homeschool and the like because it’s easier than public education… But that should not be the case. A genuine Christian education—something all Christian parents are required to give their children—means teaching every subject in a Christ-centered, God-glorifying way… Which is much harder than teaching or learning under the myth of neutrality (as though there is no God or that certain areas of life are outside of God’s involvement or the like). It means taking every subject captive for Christ. It means inculturating and indoctrinating our children in the best way possible, with the doctrine and culture of Christ that is meant to take over and transform every culture. From the arts, humanities, social sciences, natural sciences, and the like, we are to embrace, and teach our children to embrace all of Christ for all of life and all of life for all of Christ. 

Repentance here means turning from laziness, complacency, distraction or harshness and embracing the patient, intentional work of discipleship. Fathers, lead the charge: read Scripture aloud, teach them the songs of Zion, and model a life of repentance and faith in all of life. Show them and teach them how all truth is God’s truth. Mothers, your gentle nurture binds these lessons deep into their souls. Together, make your home a sanctuary where Christ’s light shines in every corner. For those without children, this calling extends to the church—mentor, pray for, and love the little ones among us, for we are all one family in Him.

C.S. Lewis once wrote, “The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only—and that is to support the ultimate career.” This reminds us that the home, steeped in the culture of Christ, is a sacred vocation, a mission field where eternal souls are shaped for His kingdom. May we embrace that beautiful reality.

The Covenant Bond: Giving to One Another

Husbands and wives, God calls you to give yourselves to one another—body, heart, and soul—in the sacred covenant of marriage. This is not a grudging duty, but a glad gift. In the marriage bed, you reflect the intimacy and unity of Christ and His church, a mystery profound and beautiful. Beyond this, give yourselves in patience, forgiveness, and shared purpose, building a home where love reigns. Refuse the world’s lie that your needs compete; what is truly good for one is good for the other, for you are one flesh, bound by God’s design.

If this unity has been strained—by neglect, issues with physical, emotional, or spiritual health, selfishness, or unmet desires—repentance means turning toward one another in Christ. Confess, forgive, and pursue each other with renewed zeal. Pursue health with renewed zeal. Exercise, eat healthy, get off the computer and TV and into God’s Word and prayer. Read good Christian books. Seek to learn how to be a better spouse. And practically, carve out time to talk, to laugh, to pray together. Guard your intimacy as a holy treasure, and let your love be a testimony to the world of God’s faithful covenant. And even when you may not feel like it, strive to give yourself over to your spouse with energy and zeal… for it’s always good to practice dying to self and living to love and serve. But along with that, if it’s your spouse who isn’t as zealous and passionate as you would like, be patient and gracious, even while you both work to grow in passion and zeal for one another. 

Sexual tension can lead to a number of problems—saying things in anger, acting out, bitterness, and the like. So make every effort to communicate to one another clearly and graciously. Seek to be kind and understanding. And given that we are all prone to wander and act in selfishness, seek to keep short accounts. What I mean by that is be quick to confess your sin and repent. Be quick to apologize, and be quick to forgive. Talk to one another. Listen to one another. And remember, you are not against each other, nor are you mere objects for one another’s pleasure. You are one. You are a covenant union. Act like it. 

One Household, One Mission

Beloved, the covenant household is not a battleground of competing wills, but a unified front for God’s glory. We are not a collection of individuals chasing our own ends, but one body, knit together by grace. The husband and father leads this charge, not for his own sake, but to steer the family toward Christ, for the good of all. What blesses one blesses the whole, for we rise and fall together. This unity mirrors our life in the church, where every member—married or single, parent or not—plays a vital role in the family of God.

G.K. Chesterton wisely said, “The family is the test of freedom; because the family is the only thing that the free man makes for himself and by himself.” In Christ, we are free to build homes that reflect His love, His order, and His joy. If you’ve drifted from this vision, repent by returning to the cross, where Christ’s blood cleanses and His Spirit empowers. Practically, gather as a family—read, pray, sing, and laugh together. Serve one another in love, and let your home be a beacon of God’s grace.

A Call to All

To those not married or without children, these truths still sing to you. You are part of this covenant family, called to live sacrificially, to honor others, to nurture the faith of those around you, and to give yourself to the body of Christ. We are one, and your faithfulness strengthens us all. Let us walk together, repenting where we’ve faltered, and pressing on in the power of the Spirit, for the glory of our Savior.

In Christ’s service and yours,

Nick Esch